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Post by aidan7777 on Jul 15, 2015 7:50:51 GMT
CHAPTER 11: SOUPERHERO MAYHEM!
so ivy, scrag, and DESTROY guy were the only 3 cool guys left after time, shiny, and celceus deaded back there. scrag said "wawawawawawawawa they're all dead jim" and ivy said "hoo" then destroy guy said "they got DESTROYED" so they were sadly driving down the road when they saw 3 smelly street buskers on the side of the road they were music meep and gold! music was playing music while meepy was saying "thats nice" while he was on fire which gold reacted to with "ok" so the 3 cool people stopped on the side and the DESTROY guy said "come in we have candy" and the smelly street buskers said "ok" and they boarded the wagon and they went wagonning off and they now had people to fill the shieldon, mudkip, and serial-killer shaped holes in their hearts hooray they winned!!! but then OH NO MR BEAN WAS ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD AND HE MADE HIS HAND INTO A GUN SHAPE AND SHOT ONE OF THE OXEN OH NO OH NO OH NO OH NO!!! so they had to run lets go really really fast and mr bean was shooting at them with his hand gun and gold said "ok" and meep said "thats nice" so then they did a super duper cool drift and they were so close to the guide rail while drifting and talking at the same time so they almost got away and they did a big jump and music played fitting music to the super cool chase and mr bean was shooting at them and it hit meep in the arm and he went "thats nice" and he was still on fire too and then scrag picked up a bottle of goat milk which had "hand milked by time to run lets go please do not drink" written on it so scrag THREW IT AT MR BEAN and mr bean got covered in the goat milk and he stopped shooting and went "damn i got covered in goat milk gosh darn you to heck you smelly wagoneers" and runned away and in this fanfiction ivy is a lemon now instead of a onion (because she's sour lol!!!!) don't ask me why she changed class you stupid idiot haters its a fanfiction and i am a genius and you are an idiot i thought i told you that earlier stupid noob don't ever doubt my story ever i piss you forever!! i hope you go to helo!!! so they were driving down the road but then some men DESTROYED their oxen forever!!! it was fredy fezbear the sharp dressed bear! and there was also binny! his homeless sidekick who eats from the bin! so the wagoners got out and it was going to be a big kung-fu karate fight oh no!!! so DESTROY guy swung his destroy knife at fredy but fezber doged it and hit him which made him go "nooooooooo" and fall down and ivy tried to squirt a lemon in binny's eyes but binny simply ate from a bin and used his bin powers and made banana peels which slipped all the wagonners!!! so music and meep and gold all went "ok" and watched while eating soda and drinking popcorn so they were all kung fu fighting with expert timing with the fnaf men superzeroes but then binny ate from the bin again and died of eat-from-the-bin poisoning rest in piss binny so scrag walked up to fezbear and pulled on his necktie and fezbear said "nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo" and he got strangled with his tie rest in piss so they went driving to some place again i don't know where they're going and don't ask me why they got new oxen or where they got them from i'm a writer i do what i want idiot!!! but then a duck flew on the cart and it unscrewed the wheel which made the cart tip over and meepy was a skeleton because he was burning for a long time and the massage parlor in the wagon got broke and they all went "damn!!!!"
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Post by Masked on Jul 15, 2015 14:43:36 GMT
Accurate
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Post by aidan7777 on Jul 28, 2015 16:59:57 GMT
Chapter 12!! Cute romance, And a much-needed new author! :3 (Yaoi! Don't like? Don't read!!!!) Hai! (^_^) I'm XxGenericAnimeGirl69xX! I chloroformed the original writer, So Now I get to write the story! :3 TIME WAS RESURRECTED IN THIS STORY AND SO WAS NET DONT JUDGE ME IF YOU DONT SAY NICE THINGS TO ME AND ONLY NICE THINGS I WILL BE SAD SO ONLY NICE THINGS XOXOXOXOXOXO~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ They all woke up in the morning, And went on a very relaxing wagon trip. "Ivy-senpai!" meepy said to his waifu. "I love you the most!" Golden DELICATELY AND LOVINGLY made a cup of coffee in the coffee-maker. And then visited the massage parlor inside the wagon, But met everybody else in there as well! They were all blushing at each other... They all had the most romantical and fuzzy feelings! "Net kuun." time said romantically. and then they blushed more, and they shared a deep, passionate, k- WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE ADIAN NO DONT SHOOT ME WITH THE GU- *BANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANG* AAAAAAAAAHHHH!!! *BANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANG* so much for THAT liberation front! i'm back in control now! *dogs clapping* no one takes over my story! men have been beaten, kicked, slugged, and spat on throughout this sorry tale! and i'm telling you, i've had it with these uppity women! they can take over businesses, they can take over the damn government for all i care! but the one thing they will not take over is MY story! and this story ain't over till i say it's over! now let's see how you screwed up! mhm mhm this girl tried to ruin silly fanfiction but let's just say none of this vandalism ever happened in the story and they're still trying to fix the damn wagon! (that link above is just a youtube video shortener btw) let's get to the real damn story already! CHAPTER 12: IT'S TIME TO FIX THIS WAGON, LET'S GO! so the duck had unscrewed the wagon wheel and since nobody here knew how to use a screwdriver they were stranded for a really long time so then scrag said "how about we go to france and eat baguettes and get a screwdriver and parts?" and the destroy guy replied "but i hate france i want to DESTROY them" and scrag said "no no no no please don't destory france or i will put ivy's ex husbando in your pants and you know how hot tea is right? it might also ruin your suit!" then destroy guy said "oh ok" and meep was all like "thats nice" so golden decided to attempt to go to the kitchen to make food but then she realized there was no bread so they all did a walking to france to get bread and a screwdriver and screws and massage parlor fixing items and other things they need i dunno so then they went to the french border and they didn't let him in so scrag just farted the french national anthem and that made them applaud (the french dogs applauded too) and they could buy everything for free and enter france but then they saw a bunch of stupid loser weaboos who went "omg all of you senpai senpai domo domo san san senpai senpai" and started following the group of oddjobs and DESTROY guy said "shut up jap crap" and DESTROYED them all but it turns out there was a flood of jap crap weaboos and bad my little pony OC's as well as regular my little pony characters which are just as bad so they started fighting at them with expert timing and kung fu fighting but they got driven back to the eiffal tower so they had to climb the eiffal tower while shooting the bad ponies and the jap crap so they were at the top but a generic pony flew at them and hit destroy guy causing him to drop his DESTROY knife on the floor and pinkey pie said "im gonna kill u im pinky meaner im a mordorer!" but then they all beat her up and cut off her head and took it as a trophy and they all died so DESTROY guy picked up his DESTROY knife and then they went to france and everyone stinked and was rude there so they tried to talk to a french man but he just went "GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR" so scrag stole a baguette and put it in his mouth to silence him so they went to market and bought baguettes and a screwdriver with an instruction manual with it so they can learn to use one and they bought duck-unscrewing proof screws and a massage parlor repair kit and to celebrate they went to a fancy restraunt and ate baguettes, snails, and baguettes but then ivy aquired the wine and drank all of it rudely and got drunkened off it so they all facepalmed and carefully walked home avoiding the police men so ivy wouldn't get arrested for drunk walking but then rainbow dish went in front of them and went "noooooo i will revendge u for kiling my frend!!!" and the destroy guy said "go away you stupid dutch bag" and cut rainbow dash on the head which made her die to death and then ivy cut rainbow dashes head off and they had two pony head trophies now that's totally radical dude! so they then fixed their wagon and started driving again for no reason
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Post by biddyFox on Jul 28, 2015 17:41:24 GMT
silly fanfictions don't wear ties
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Post by aidan7777 on Aug 8, 2015 22:00:55 GMT
CHAPTER 13: TAKING OUT THE TRASH
so ivy scrag and DESTROY guy talked at each other while they were driving down the road to the place or something. ivy said "we have dead weight on board" and destroy guy did a reply at her "yes we do it is two people" so they picked up meepy and golden and stopped and put both of them in the bin because both of them were completely useless and not funny enough for silly fanfiction rest in piss so then they changed their path to france. ivy said "we gotta get time back" and scrag said "no no no no no no no no no no no no n-" but then the DESTROY guy interrupted with "shut up french bag we are fixing time and if you try and stop us i will DESTROY you to death do you understand" and scrag said "no" so the DESTROY guy picked him up and locked him inside the toilet for half an hour as punishment and it was smelly and bad so anyway the loonies arrived at france at the funeral place where they gave time the shitty budget funeral so they used scrag as a shovel to dig time up and then they digged time back up and they walked fastly to the friendly neighbourhood shieldon fixer-upperer so they gave time to him and he said "NO GO AWAY DUTCH BAG" turns out that he wasn't a friendly neighbourhood shieldon fixer upperer afterwards so they went to THE HARDWARE STORE and bought a shieldon repair kit and repaired time with it and then they rubbed bananas on him to complete the job BUT JUST AS THEY'RE ABOUT TO START HIM UP a space probe comes across and insults everybody and the author for making a joke that didn't have anything to do with death or weapons so destroy guy stood up and said "go away idiot!" and DESTROYED him to death rest in piss space probe so they started booting him up. MEANWHILE IN HELL time was playing poker with freddy fazbear, justin bieber, stargleam, and the shiny mudkip. so they were all playing poker and freddy said "check" and time said "all in and then they all said "call" so then they showed their cards. freddy had a pair of 2's and justin had a pair of kings and a pair of aces which was 2 pair. stargleam had nothing, but time showed his hand and he had 5 aces of spades and he said "i win" but then freddy said "no you lost" then time looked down and saw that all his cards got replaced by baseball cards (all of the worst player) and freddy had the aces instead so stargleam said "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" and freddy replied to stargleams NO with "you're such a bad kitty thats it i've had it with you that does it i'm done that's the last straw strargeleim" and then he took off his shoe and put stargleam on the table and hit stargleam with the shoe until stargleam deaded and went to super hell and time said "thank you freddy you deserve a metal oh man why am i floating i'm going back to earth now guys thank you very much i liked your company thanks for the time you guys were great i'll miss you goodbye and freddy keep making good beer for the others ok bye guys bye" and he went back to earth and time said "welcome to windows 98!" as he booted up and ivy said "time senpai you are back you were a funny character in the story and it is good to have you" so they all talked about time's time in hell (HAHAHAHAHHA FUNNY PUN) and time said "well i got to watch south park with freddy fazbear and a few other dudes while drinking good beer oh and guys freddy makes great beer i brought a couple of four packs with me do you guys want any" and they all said "yes i need a drink" so they all drank beer and drove drunk and watched a bad tv show and the TV said "i pee her while grug, on her brook leg. i then burn in helo." but DESTROY guy just standed up and DESTROYED the tv and said "GOD DONUT NOBODY LIKES INSIDE JOKES SO THATS ENOUGH OF THAT" he was right you know so they all stared at him and forced him to milk goats in the massage parlor for an hour or so because he DESTROYED their tv
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Post by biddyFox on Aug 8, 2015 22:29:57 GMT
1/1
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Post by Masked on Aug 8, 2015 22:35:09 GMT
the amount of possibly inflammatory satire in this is astounding
more so than big rigs over the road racing
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Post by aidan7777 on Aug 8, 2015 22:55:23 GMT
good to hear
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Post by aidan7777 on Aug 13, 2015 3:46:18 GMT
CHAPTER 14: THE BIG BANJO BATTLE IN KAZAKHSTAN
(if you don't like long chapters, silly humor, satire, humor that isn't generic gun jokes, or mariachis, don't read it you goat milker!!)
so they were driving down the road WHEN SUDDENLY THEY GOT STOPPED BY A MARIACHI MAN AND A PLUMBER AND DR WHO who said "i challenge all of u to a guitar-ing battle!!!" so ivy walkinged out of the wagon and took out her guitar and say "yes i accept your challenge be prepared to be destroyed you stupid idiot goat milkers" but just then time walkered out of the wagon and said "hey i made that insult you gotta pay me royalties you idiot head!" but ivy just sai- OW I GOT HIT ON THE HEAD
chApTer 13.5; AutHOr WAr!11!1!
yarrr im foxy i did the bite and i am a pirate and a fox and i will make this very obvious arrr im a pirate im a pirate im a pirate i'm a fanservice fox and i've taken over yer' story ship arrrrr now i'm going to sit down and ARRRRRRR SOME ONE PUT A PIN ON MY CHAIR ARRR MY ARRRRRSE
helo i arm dyuck i rited pprp hich schol duck ediotn wich wos gooded storeyro o no som one colled the dukc colection service noo i gettinbg taked awaikmbmvcxz
I'M STARGLEAM AND THIS STORY IS BAD BECAUSE I DIED IN IT AND I AM TAKING OVER THIS STORY ONCE AND FOR ALL! OH NO I'M BEING GASSED NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooo oh i'm dead
hi i'm mr hilter (NOT HITLER) and i'm the man who gassed the cat with my burrito breakfast i wear a tie and a brown coat and a red armband but i'm mr hilter (NOT HITLER) i think this story's too silly and being mr hilter (NOT HITLER) i'm going to make it into a proper story and OUCH A MAN POKED ME IN THE EAR WITH HIS CHOPSTICKS OW IT HURT
konichiwa-san hi-chan i-san am-domo kawaii-chan senpai-san japanese-san man-chan i am so hawaii and this story-san isn't kawaii enough-senpai oh hilter-senpai stargleam's-dead-corpse-senpai duck-senpai duck removalist-senpai foxy-senpai and author-senpai why are you all staring at me EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE IM BEING PUT INTO A MEAT GRINDER STOP SENPAI PLS AAAAAA ow im a mcdonalds burger how un-kawaii
okay this is the original author here will all of you kindly FUCK OFF and especially you foxy i hate you because YOU ARE A BAD DOG FOX AND YOU R SMELLY
alright i just got done having a hitting battle with him and he just bittened of 87'ed my frontal lobe off but that's okay since i don't use that part of my brain to write silly fanfiction anyway but it's no big deal really just put on some sticky tape and it's good as new anyway now let's get back to the proper story without anybody hijacking my electric computerizing machine
CHAPTER 14: THE BIG BANJO BATTLE IN KAZAKHSTAN (for real this time)
so they were driving down the road WHEN SUDDENLY THEY GOT STOPPED BY A MARIACHI MAN AND A PLUMBER AND DR WHO who said "i challenge all of u to a guitar-ing battle!!!" so ivy walkinged out of the wagon and took out her guitar and say "yes i accept your challenge be prepared to be destroyed you stupid idiot goat milkers" but just then time walkered out of the wagon and said "hey i made that insult you gotta pay me royalties you idiot head!" but ivy just said "i'll pay you your 2 dollars when i win it in the guitar-ing fight" but then the plumber said "plumbers don't wear ties" AND THEN STARTED WEARING A TIE AND PLAYING AIR GUITAR ON HIS PLUNGER WHAT THE DUCK AND HIS PLUNGER STARTED SHOOTING MUSIC NOTES so ivy had to play a guitar and block them with her music and it was a big guitar battle and guitar lasers and guitar bullets were flying everywhere but then ivy unleashed the rockstar power that she got from drinking a rockstar energy drink a minute ago and she did a really cool guitar solo and a huge laser beam shot from her guitar and DESTROYed the mariachi man (who was masked by the way) and blew up the plumbers plunger which made him go "damn!!!" so all there was left was dr who and he started playing the guitar at ivy but he had a trick up his sleeve!!! he got out his screwdriver and unscrewed ivys guitar which made it explode and then he started shooting music notes at ivy so she had to duck into the wagon and she got out A SITAR and blew up the doctor and his stupid police box car with the power of indian music!! all those hours playing sitar hero had paid off as ivy winned the battle and got the 2 dollars she needed to pay timetorunletsgo his royalties for using his insult but all their oxen got killed by the big guitar battle (the oxens heads exploded because all of the participants sucked at guitar and it sounded terrible) so they were stranded for a few hours while they thought up plans on how to get un-stranded when suddenly DESTROY guy had an idea! in the days when he had a job in the office he always drove to work in his shitty honda which had a hamster in a wheel instead of a piston engine. the hamster wheel was connected to the drivetrain by a belt, and in order to keep the hamster from stopping working, he had to keep refilling its water bottle through a port on the dashboard of the car. and when he needed the extra power to get on to the highway, he'd pour his coffee into it instead and the hamster would start going really really fast and make his car go fast enough to just barely get on the highway. and thanks to the power of deus ex machina, they were only a kilometer away from a hamster and coffee shop so they all did a walking to the hamster and coffee shop and they went in and they bought a hamster a wheel a belt a hamster feeder a hamster water bottle and the worlds strongest coffee there and then they payed for it and did another walking back to their wagon and then the DESTROY guy stepped up while time held the DESTROY guy's screwdriver and his hammer so then the DESTROY guy mounted the hamster wheel on the wall, hooked the hamster wheels axle up to a toilet roll, mounted the hamster feeder and water bottle near the wheel, put the belt on the toilet roll and the wagon axle. and dumped the hamster into the wheel. time dropped the tools and looked at the DESTROY guy's ridiculous contraption and said "what the fuck this is not going to work you stupid clown nose goat milker you wasted our time this is just ridiculous i bet it'll break the second you try it out" and the DESTROY guy said "shut up!!!" but the time for talking wasn't much because suddenly a really awful looking steamroller with "disciplinary action" painted on the side drove up to them. it had tinted windows, a shitty body kit (which wasn't painted) a loud fart can muffler, a ridiculous paintjob, neon lights, super duper loud stereo system playing shitty music (dubstep) and shitty spinning hubcaps on the rims from walmart. suddenly the door opened and out came a goodra called nanj and a duck called duck which then acted like assholes and nanj smashed all of scrags french things while throwing beer cans at ivy while duck scratched rude words on times faceplate and pecked holes in the walls and they were both acting like assholes and then they were all very very angery at them!!! time said "u ruined my face! sop right there!" scrag said "damn my french things got broken gosh dam u!" DESTROY guy said "i'll DESTROY you for this!!" and ivy said "hoo" but then nanj just blew a raspberry and drove away fastly on their steamroller revving their underpowered antiquated diesel engine to a whopping 1500 rpm (pathetic!!) and eventually going fast so they thought they got away but then the destroy guy spun the hamster wheel by hand and the hamster started spinning about and the wagon wented forward and they were chasing nanj and his duck in hot pursuit!!! nanj and the duck saw them approaching in the mirror and said "nanj they are getting closer wat do we do" and nanj replied at him "take these stickers and put them on the side they will make the steamroller go faster" so the duck flew out the window and stuck all the stickers on which gave the steamroller 100 more horsepower and made them finally start to get away so then duck went back in and said "yes yes yes we are getting away keep at it nanj" but the DESTROY guy said "GRR U WONT GET AWAY THAT EASY!!!!" and poured the worlds strongest coffee into the hamsters water bottle and the hamster drinked it and started going ultra speed!!! so they got up next to nanj and duck and said "die you idiots!" and then started shooting them with their tommy guns so nanj ducked down and turned on his loud sound system and turned up the bass which deflected the bullets and caused an earthquake and now it was really heated action! nanj started to pull away even faster now because his sound system added even more horsepower to his steamroller so the DESTROY guy went "grrrr you goat milkers!!" and put the entire carton of the worlds strongest coffee into the hamster water and the hamster went super duper uber ultra fast which made it on fire as well so they caught up to nanj again and then the dubstep track got to the bass drop part which blew the roof off the wagon, blew the doors off nanj's steamroller, broke all of his windows, and made the carburettor drop right off of his engine. then his steamroller stopped and time, scrag, ivy, and the DESTROY guy all beat nanj up and then looked at their burnt hamster which they had to eat for the nights dinner because they were all smelly hobos
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Post by radicaldadical on Aug 13, 2015 4:07:03 GMT
ICANTEVENREADTHIS
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Post by aidan7777 on Aug 13, 2015 4:07:54 GMT
maybe you aren't man enough to read more than 2 lines of text
start with silly fanfiction 1
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Post by radicaldadical on Aug 13, 2015 4:22:57 GMT
I'll try.
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Twelve
Member
" The cat below your hat doesn't deserve a pat on the back. "
Posts: 1,463
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Post by Twelve on Aug 13, 2015 6:02:29 GMT
nanj did his best
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Post by radicaldadical on Aug 16, 2015 10:08:29 GMT
I could actually read it when anime kawaiiiiiii was writing because it had capitals and periods.
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Post by aidan7777 on Aug 16, 2015 10:20:05 GMT
where we're going we don't need punctuation
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